My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
