the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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