My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you would pick up someone in the library
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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