$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
