i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
