i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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