i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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