I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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