nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
