Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
