Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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