ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize