I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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