I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
