she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
