We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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