So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
