Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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