i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
