Where is the hickey?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
