i was rollin on her like bob the builder
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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