my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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