***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
