I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
