my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize