I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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