your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
