You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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