Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She told me I should be a condom model.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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