what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you made out with another girl for some wings
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
