Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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