Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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