i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just high enough for therapy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
