So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
