Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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