Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
