Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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