he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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