He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
