I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Boobs are out for the taking
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
