What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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