Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you still have your period?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
