tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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