Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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