apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
