This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Help. Why am I so naked?
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