A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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