Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
