I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
