This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
