Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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