Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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