I wannas sexs uuuuu
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
