i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
