Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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